and in her bones

And in her bones
Spiders where there once was life
Causing an uncontrollable ache
An ache that took her breath, and her heartbeat, and her bones away
And left an incomprehensible void.

I'm angry
But I'm not angry at you

Please forgive me

Mom

Because

I still love you.
Every day.

Every day I will love you.

I will never forget.

And I will never forgive
Myself
For what I did
Or didn't do
To make you go...
To drive you from me...
The one person who understood

And made me realize how good life was,
And made me forget how bad life was,

And made me want to live to see more of it;

I love you
And I am truly
Deeply
Sorry
For something
I don't know
If I did
Or didn't do
To make you go

To bite your tongue that last time,
Take your last breath

Swallow the pain
And forget all the bad things
That you were afraid of

Afraid of the bad people
Who would come in your sleep
And take me away from you

I find it ironic
That they came
And took you instead

They
That mystical they

How I hate them.
And I will continue to hate them.
Every day for the rest of my life.

Why couldn't it have been me?

Why did they
take
my mother
away...

my only mother

                                my closest friend

                                                                my only friend



From the bottom of my heart

I am sorry.